By: Jada James, Social Work Intern
hooks,b. (2018). All About Love: New Visions. HarperCollins Publishers.
“We all need to rid ourselves of misguided notions about self-love. We need to stop fearfully equating it with self-centeredness and selfishness.” (hooks, 2018, p.90). Self-care is a part of self-love. Self-care does not have to be the stereotypical face mask and robe. Self-care is taking time for yourself and doing what brings you joy. Joy could be catching up on the shows you missed, going to the gym, spending time with friends, or journaling. As bell hooks says, self-love should not be equated with selfishness. Culturally, it is expected you put others before yourself, whether this is friends, family, or work. This act signals dedication and that you are caring. Versus, if you take action to put yourself first, it signals ego or greed. Ego and greed are hurting others for self-gain. Self-care is not that. You are taking time to rejuvenate yourself. As you have these moments to yourself, you realize what your passions are and what brings you joy.
As we get caught up in our hectic schedules, it can seem like we do not have time for ourselves. This can cause you to feel guilt for taking a moment for yourself. Capitalism tells us that we should constantly be in a cycle of working. Or, as your annoying retail manager says, “if you have time to lean, you have time to clean." Eventually, we need to take moments for ourselves. You must schedule them instead of looking for the right time to appear.
There is never going to be a perfect time to have a self-care moment unless you choose it. Just as you put your deadlines in your planner, you can write down going to the movies or going on a walk. Seeing these written down can curb invasive thoughts that say everything else on your to-do list will be neglected. You are not selfish for choosing you.
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