By: Joslyn Miller, Women*s Initiative for Leadership Development (WILD) Programs & Events Intern
Love is all around us. I’m not talking about the aisles of cards and teddy bears holding hearts at the grocery store, the section of the bookstore devoted to happily-ever-after, the songs we listen to about romance, or the couple walking down the street affectionately holding hands. Although romantic love plays a big role in our lives, we often underestimate the power of the love we share with our friends: platonic love.
Platonic love is shown to have tons of benefits. It’s beneficial to our emotional development and well-being, introduces us to new points of view, activities, and ideas, serves as a support system, provides us with relational longevity, and teaches us things like communication and boundaries.
Although I have always appreciated my friends and viewed my relationships with them as some of the most important to me, I never thought about how romance isn’t exclusive to relationships with significant others. Over winter break, I was reading Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton and one point stood out to me especially: It was that everything she knew about love had been learnt through her long-term friendships. Although not necessarily revolutionary, this got me thinking about my idea of love.
In so much of the media we consume, “couple goals” is shoved in our face, often emphasizing that to be truly fulfilled and happy, we must have a romantic partner. But it’s the ease that comes from our relationships with our friends that allows us to recognize that we are never truly without affection, emotional intimacy, connection, or love. Friendship isn’t always easy, but it is a special feeling knowing that you have people who have seen all the best and all the worst parts of you, yet still choose to love you and laugh with you. Sophie Mackintosh describes it best: “The sense of joy when you find those people who switch something on inside you can be as happy and intoxicating as any romantic feeling – better even, perhaps, for the feeling of unconditionality” (Mackintosh, 2022).
So in reflecting on my life and relationships thus far, I truly believe that I have found the most love and happiness from relationships with my friends. To know that you share a bond with people who know how you’re feeling just by looking at you, who will listen to you or just sit with you in silence, who you share inside jokes that you can laugh at for hours with, and who adore you just as much as you do them: that is love.
ALDERTON, DOLLY. Everything I Know about Love. PENGUIN BOOKS, 2022.
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