By: Heather Shea, W*SS Director
Children of all genders are socialized to be afraid of the dark from a very young age. How many of us slept with a nightlight on? At some point, little boys become teenagers and it's no longer as socially acceptable to outwardly express this fear; no longer “okay” for them to admit to being afraid of the dark. Hegemonic masculinity reinforces the message that "real" (straight, cisgender) men only display an outward confidence with their surroundings.
As teenage boys unlearn a fear of darkness, teenage girls receive constant reinforced messages about the inherent dangers of the dark. Mostly the messages take the form of “stranger-danger” and “jump out of the bushes” assailants who only operate at night. By the time they get to college, cisgender women have fully bought into the "stranger-rape myth." On campus, rape culture reinforces these messages by insisting that women take self-defense courses, walk in pairs, learn to carry their keys in certain ways that could injure a would-be attacker, and never leave their rooms without a “safety” whistle or mace. Instead of countering the dominant narrative by just being outside in the dark, some women stay in.
To be sure, all fear -- like our fear of the dark -- has some basis in reality. Perception of safety is as important as actual safety. And, a threat of violence in general can be all too real. One in four (or one in five, depending on the source) women will be sexually assaulted during their time on campus. And yet, we contend, a fear of the dark isn’t necessarily the cause (nor will staying only in the light guarantee to keep us safe).
And if the worst does happen, who will be to blame? Just as we are socialized to believe in the "stranger rapist myth" we also are quick to blame the victim. "What was she thinking, being out alone like that in the dark?"
Yet, there are examples of an emergent counter-narrative. Cheryl Strayed wrote in her autobiographical memoir about her solo wilderness trek from the Mojave Desert to the Oregon/Washington border, "Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me. Insisting on this story was a form of mind control, but for the most part, it worked." (from Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail).
What do you think? Can we choose to tell ourselves a different story? Or, should we remain fearful of the dark?
Interested in sharing your own "Thought Of The Day" or TOTD? Email us at wss@msu.edu.